In the midnight hours when all is still... alone my mind can hear itself Think, it must keep busy or loneliness will set in....
What is it about those hours that tugs at the Heart strings?
Life goes on, one night at a time and the sensitive feel more than
the unaware....they love deeper and
they hurt harder.
There Is No Blame
There Is No Shame
She sits a warrioress between battles, at rest...
Knowing each battle in life has it's time for reflection..
Her mind whispers,
There is no Blame
There is no Shame....
Only Experience that holds keys
that are hidden deep inside
and open doors to many feelings you must explore....
where you can get lost in places to hide.
We never know what lies behind the next door...
Some leave us sad
and wondering why,
Some make us feel like we've been bad...
Some make us feel empty inside
While others take us on an unexpected ride....
Again the whisper, There is no Blame
There is no Shame....
Just doors full of experience
we need to go through
for our souls to grow
for us to better know
Our own Heart and all it's ways
as each door leads us through
the experience we call Love
What lies behind each door
Is only for you to do...
There is no Blame
There is no Shame....
Just experience you must go through
Will you love or will you Hate
Will you fall victim and seal your fate
Will you be a giver or will you take
Will you climb to Great Heights
or will you sink into a deep sleep
where you sit and weep and weep
Will you see the truth that sets you free to take flight
or will your fear of it make you fight...
There is no Blame
There is no Shame...
You could step into one door
and become the critic, the enemy to all
a door you move swiftly through
but all the while you do what you do...
Until one day you take the fall
Your Heart is bleeding, weeping
You run away from it all
only to find it was you that you were running from...
Fear becomes your friend
Your Heart is silenced while you do what you do...
There is no Blame
There is no Shame...
Only the next door to walk through
You see a mirror, you look in
It's only you looking at you
as you see the things you do...
Fear is 'not' your friend
what have you done, when will it end?
You begin to unravel, you come undone....
You hear the whisper
There is no Blame
There is no Shame....
Only experience you had to go through
Will you move through to the other side
Will you find a dark corner and hide
Only you can make the choice
Only you can hear your inner voice
always leading you to the next door...
Will you open your eyes and see
that each door you walk into
brings you to what you must go through
to know the Heart
you must do what you must do...
Only in this way can you be set free
There is no Blame
There is no Shame...
Another door opens and you see
a light so bright You see for the first time
the things you must do
if you ever want to set your soul free..
This time you do the things you do
and see the way back to your Heart
is not through the doors of Fear or Fight...
You are on a Journey from which you were never apart
The Journey of Love and back to the Heart....
There is no Blame
There is no Shame....
Only countless doors you must walk through
and do what you must do
Choices you must make that lead you astray
or show you the way....
Now, You begin to see
There is no Blame
There is no Shame....
Once again it is the late hours when all is quiet and the mind can hear itself think.....How long can you keep it busy, distracted before the Heart calls out to be released from it's prison....
The walls that we put around it to keep from feeling...
What is it about Feeling we fear?
Tonight It was impossible to escape the little girls voice in the basement..sitting in the chair all alone while everyone left her...night became morning and still she sat waiting for some one to call her name, or knock three times so she could come upstairs and find comfort in her bed...but it never comes..
Only this time she was grown, sitting in her home that had become her basement. Alone waiting for someone to come and Love her..knock three times so she could come into someones arms and find comfort...but no one was there...
Is comfort nowhere to be found? Is she so invisible that no one sees she has a need to be loved, to have a safe place to lay her heart...to be touched, to be important enough....
The night is not her friend, she tries to sleep but this time it doesn't come to take her away from her feelings...On this particular night she can't keep her mind entertained...
She looks around and the loneliness sets in and she knows that it's time, she must face the one thing that is sitting in the basement of her soul....alone, confused, too afraid to move off the chair and let herself come up to the light...She's so little, so fragile, so angry, so hurt....
she makes herself known only in the late hours of the night when all is quiet and the mind can hear itself...you can feel her moving around in her chair, squirming as though she is tied to it...You feel her pain, her cries in the dark....She sees no way out...
The pain begins to move ever so slowly to the stomache...you talk to her, you cry with her, you feel her pain...It's a pain that has wrapped itself around her until she cannot break free...She is calling, she is moving, you feel her now in your chest....You try to ignore it...but the feeling only gets stronger, you rub your hands on your legs as you try sitting.... you can feel your mind tightening as the pain continues to stir inside of you...again you hear her faint cries...How can I save her you ask...How can I relieve her of the pain she is so used to...
She doesn't know that it is strangling you, choking you, making your stomach hurt so bad you feel like throwing up..You cry along with her...It hurts so bad.. This pain is not a stranger to you.. You've been here before.. Panic sets in, You pace around in circles, your mind is racing out of control...how can you stop this.. the more you try the more powerful it becomes...
Go to the bed, hide under the covers. it has always worked before..What is different about this night...Why won't it go away..You need help, you look around and there is no help..
The night is quiet and the sounds inside of you echo so loud. You cry out in anguish...you try to remember what you were told to do when this kind of pain surfaces...She's trying to get out.. you know this, how can you help her..She is the little you..but she is becoming so strong and she shatters the silence of the night hours...
It's no use, you feel like she is moving into your throat...Sobs, anguish, the crying won't stop...remember what did you learn that can set you free...You know now, you must stay in the feeling no matter how much it hurts.. you let it take over, and take over it does...you feel like you can't do it any more...you can't sit alone anymore, but there is no relief any where..your mind feels like everything inside of you is going to burst open and everything will just end...the pain, your head, your heart, your stomache the ache is too powerful...your sobs are uncontrollable....
Then it happens, you reach that place where there is nothing left inside of you to fight this battle even one more time...'Can you find that last little will to go on?' you give up...you can't do it...you are ready for the end..that little girl inside doesn't want to feel the pain anymore, you don't want to feel the pain anymore, it's the end..You've had enough....
You've reached that place where so many souls just feel there is no way out except through death...It's the only place left to go..You surrender...it's OK, you know you can leave and it will be OK...everything gets still as the decision is being pondered...the hows and the whys no longer matter...the pain no longer matters.. you just quit struggling, you quit trying...
In that moment is when you face the very thing that will either bring you death or bring you life....
All struggle is gone..all strength is gone...do you even have enough to make the decision?..All is still and even you don't know if you can go on or what you will choose...Then in that state of mind you step into the fire..you go into the basement and you get that little girl and you bring her out of the fire with you...as you comfort her, you feel alive..you feel a softness, it's the Heart that is freed at last...your cries are softer now until they fade away...
Now the late hours become morning and you watch as the Sun peeks over the hill...It's a new day, a new you, free of the pain that was living inside of you, talking for you, thinking for you, but now there is nothing but gratefulness and freedom to fly, freedom to play...You've faced the darkest Night of Your Soul and Life won...
